Based in:
Defining an Elopement in 2020 and beyond.
Elopements are not what they used to be. Your parents or older friends and relatives probably think eloping involves running away to Las Vegas without your family knowing or consider elopements as the “cheap” way to get married for those hippie children with no money or a real job. Let’s dive into the new definition of an elopement.
I am determined to change that negative narrative, change the definition of an elopement and help support modern couples break through the barriers by providing resources to share with their skeptics as to why eloping is the most courageous thing a couple can decide to do.
So my definition of an elopement is the union of two people. Simple as that. This strips the societal expectations for a big party with many guests, specific clothes or location or traditions that may not suit the people uniting. Eloping focuses on the couple and their commitment to each other. A wedding is a party focused on entertaining your guests.
So why do I think this is the most courageous (and best thing) that a couple can decide to do?
First and also probably obvious, the couple is abandoning familial desires (maybe not all, because there are some great ways to still incorporate the family)… like inviting all your parents, friends and neighbors. But, are they your good friends? Are they going to be there when you need advice on your relationship… if not, maybe don’t consider inviting them.
Second, you are ditching most of the STUFF…
The wedding favors, table decorations, bride and groom’s party gifts and clothes, DJ and dance floor, games or photo booth for more entertainment and multiple course meals, cake and booze. The list goes on. And who really remembers all those little details a month later? Your wallet and your photos. But, really do you need all that STUFF to make your day feel special?
Why not focus your money on things that really matter, like experiences with the people who mean the most to you. I am not saying you shouldn’t still get that dress or tie or whatever clothes make you feel spectacular for your cutie, or not get a beautiful bouquet, but think how much further your money will go for things you care about.
Instead of buying 4 bouquets for you and bridesmaids that fit into the budget, you can feel less guilty about splurging on one bouquet with all the flowers you actually love (and if your parents are present, remember, it’s your choice to get them a corsage or boutonniere!).
Third, this is my favorite. I.n.t.e.n.t.i.o.n.a.l.i.t.y!
This is your marriage, it should be about you and your partner so make it that way (intentionally). If you don’t like dancing, don’t have a DJ or first dance, you don’t like the idea of walking down an aisle, then zigzag through a forest or canoe down a river.
Don’t want to be married in a church… Well then what is your “church,” get married in your favorite place to visit or where you feel most at home or heck why not a completely new place to start off your adventure together?
What I am trying to say is be intentional and thoughtful of what you and your partner want, not what everyone else or society wants. Make it your own.
Last, but not least and is related to number 2 about the STUFF… It’s much more sustainable and earth friendly (click here for more details on how and why elopements are a more earth conscious choice). Weddings with many people generate a lot of trash.
By choosing to have less people you will inherently have less garbage because there is less of everything. And if friends and family are not local, that means lots of people driving or flying to get you. Even if you and your closet family fly across the world to elope, that is still much better than 200 strangers traveling and generating trash.
And remember love is forever to the moon.
How do you define elopement?
Do you agree that the definition of elopement is changing? Give me a shout and let me know what your thoughts are.
