How to Include your Family in your Elopement

Planning your elopement can be such a cathartic experience for couples. It’s very freeing to find yourself creating your wedding day around what you’d like it to be instead of following the expected traditions. But with that breaking of the status quo can come some conflicts. One of the biggest problems I’ve seen couples face is figuring out how to Include your family in your elopement day.

This can understandably be one of the hardest things for couples!

Maybe you feel the pressure from your family to have a more “traditional” wedding. Or maybe there are parts of your family you truly want to be present for you (And others not so much.). Maybe some of your family is not healthy or mobile enough to attend an adventurous elopement.

The list goes on and there are many reasons why you could be grappling with how to include your family in your elopement.

But worry not! While it does take some additional planning, there are definite things you can do to have your loved ones be a part of such a big moment!

The good news is it’s your call! You choose to what extent your family is included in your elopement.

And with that in mind, there are two main ways that you can include your family in your elopement.

The first is inviting them to your elopement ceremony!

Just as every other part of your elopement, there is no right or wrong way to do this. If you want your loved ones to be present during your vow exchange and “I Do’s”, then that is exactly what you should do! Here is an example for you below!

Meet Cassandra and Erik (above)!

They had their families play a big part in their elopement day, especially in the ceremony. It was beautiful. The family gave gifts and heartfelt speeches for the bride and groom. They even included special ceremony rituals in their elopement. Because the family was present for the ceremony, we were able to take family photos!

And we were still able to carve out some time just for the couple before their family celebrations began.

Another way to include your loved ones is while getting ready.

Which is precisely what Leah did! She had her mom help her into her wedding dress like a traditional wedding day. And their elopement day was quite a blast! With lots of family photos after their ceremony, followed by a reception! They also are a great example of planning your elopement to fit you and not a tradition. You see, they spent the weekend hanging out in the desert exploring with the family instead of just making it a one day affair.

It was a lovely mix of family time, time to themselves, and adventuring the beauty of Utah.

What if your situation is unique?

Say you have children you’d love to include in your elopement, but you don’t want to tire them out by including them in the full day.

Well, take the time to connect! Have your ceremony and photos as a chance to focus on your love for each other and reinforce your bond as a couple. And then have your kiddo join you for a picnic to celebrate with you both! 

When it comes to including family at your physical ceremony you’ll want to be sure you have your ceremony in an accessible place for all to attend. And if you do choose to include them this way, be precise in your timeline. Set aside time for just the two of you. This can either be before or after your ceremony. Some couple even opt for doing so days before or after their elopement.

Whatever you choose, just remember one thing! When you choose to elope, you are also choosing to create a day that you want and will enjoy. There is no template of a timeline for entertaining guests nor any expectations for things you have to do on YOUR day! Build something you will love and leave out the rest.

And what if you’d like to include your family in your elopement but you don’t want them present?

There are an endless number of way you can include your family even if they aren’t physically there. A favorite of mine is asking your loved ones beforehand to write you both letters or postcards that you can read together during your elopement.

You can also ask a family member to make you a care package for your hike or travels. Ask them to surprise you! They can include things such as family recipe cookies for the summit celebration or maybe something more sentimental! For example, they can record a sweet message, a favorite song or poem to listen to at your ceremony.

Or say you are getting married in the winter, they could knit you a hat, gloves or even a shawl.

Don’t be afraid to get creative with it!

Helping them feel included in your day can help ease the possible tension from them not being present on the day of. You can share your ideas and plans with them and keep them in the loop on what your elopement will be like!

Or better yet, have them help you plan a small party in celebration of your marriage after you return from your elopement. You can have your family included in the events leading up to your elopement as well.

For example, have them come look at your elopement attire with you or include them in choosing your bouquet. Anything to keep them feeling included, even if it’s in a small way, will make a difference in the end!

Use technology to your advantage!

Plan a video chat or phone call to connect with with your them on your elopement day. This is great for family or friends who may not be able to travel to you. Video call them throughout your getting ready process. You can show them your wedding attire, your hair and makeup, the flowers, the scenery or anything you think they’d love to see!

It’s a little way to bring them along on your special day, let them see the big smile on your face and allow them to wish you good luck!

You can have your reception with your family, and have your ceremony just be the two of you or even a smaller group of loved ones. Or you can plan individual lunches or dinners with your friends and family and share all your favorite pictures with them.

Your elopement allows you to enjoy the parts of the day you enjoy, or even spread out the celebration. So this party could be before, as a send off, or after as a celebration. It can even be the same day, within the same week, months or years later. It’s up to you!

Whatever way you end up choosing to include your loved ones, make it intentional. This is after all why many elope in the first place, to have more intentional and intimate experiences.

I leave you with one last tip!

Why not have an epic adventure together where you get dressed up in your wedding clothes, get flowers, dessert, have a first dance, say your vows AND still have a more traditional wedding?

A lovely bonus is you could do this before your wedding. Then you’ll have the photos to share with your family and friends or use the pictures for the wedding invitations.

Or you could adventure in your wedding dress as a part of your honeymoon! How fun would it be to plan a trip together, get dressed up again and take pictures doing something you love together?

I know I’ll take any excuse to wear my wedding dress again!

At the end of the day, whatever route you choose to include your favorite people, make sure to plan well and according to your vision.

If you need help planning your timeline, I have quite a few resources available here on my blog and on my Instagram!

And you can always contact me right through here as well!

Happy planning!