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For many eloping couples, they choose to do a symbolic ceremony. Meaning they get the legal part of their marriage together either before or after the day they say their vows. For this reason, they do not need a professional officiant, and often they don’t have or want an officiant at all. Because symbolic ceremonies are truly the celebration of the couples union together and does not include the official marriage activities that a state requires, you can do whatever you want by way of the marriage ceremony. But! That means you may want to write a symbolic elopement ceremony script.
A couple can decide to have a family member or friend deliver the symbolic elopement ceremony script, or read it to each other or heck the dog can do it (how cute!). Also, because of this freedom, the words spoken can be whatever you want! It can be a more traditional religious wedding ceremony script or a non religious ceremony script or it can be funny, personalized, modern and unique. The wedding ceremony outline can have a song in the middle, or have jokes or poems, or it can have a music or dance interlude. Or maybe you sing the whole thing! The point is it can be as simple or complicated, sappy or functional, long or short as you want… It doesn’t really matter as long as it is a total reflection of you (the couple).
With that being said here is what we did in order to create the words spoken at our marriage ceremony (our Symbolic Elopement Ceremony Script), which also dictated how the ceremony would proceed.
1. Discuss the kind of Ceremony you both are wanting or expecting.
This is important!!!! Because you have already decided eloping is for you, there is already lots of intentionality behind your day together so let’s keep that ball rolling. Maybe one of you wants more religious undertones, or maybe you have two different religions and want to figure out how to combine them (spoiler alert! Eloping is a great way to combine traditions and cultures without the family drama). Or maybe one of you is expecting a really short ceremony while the other was dreaming of a long one. It is just a really good idea to know each other’s desires and come up with a compromise.
2. We found a template online that we mostly liked.
Just google terms like, “Wedding Ceremony Script,” “Wedding Ceremony Outline” or “Wedding Officiant Speech” and you will find loads of stuff. To help narrow it down a bit, add modifiers like “funny” or “religious” or “short”. There are lots of other words you can use but you get the picture.
This is also helpful in seeing how ceremonies traditionally proceed. Like what sections are usually included in the script to have a nice flow. I had no idea what ceremonies looked like when we were figuring it out!
3. Edited, rearranged and revised to be more personal.
We then went through the outline on our own adding comments and track changes to make it sound more like how we each felt as a couple. This meant removing words or phrases we don’t use or wouldn’t say and adding in inside jokes and stories that mean things to us.
Let the emotions flow… seriously don’t hold back. It makes for an emotionally connected ceremony that you will never forget.
4. Review it together.
Then we reviewed each other’s comments and edits to build the final draft we were both proud of.
Be patient with each other! And focus on the task together. This is important for the feeling of your day so don’t be distracted while you review together.
If it’s just the two of you, you can stop here or have someone proofread it for you (but, that’s not necessary and may be too personal. Although I am sure your parents or other close family or friends would love to read and contribute to your day.).
5. We then shared with our Friend who “officiated” our ceremony and he took it from there.
As we chose to have our closest friends and family present, we decided a more traditional setup for the ceremony was fitting. And so we asked our AMAZING friend Mark unofficially “officiate.” Lucky for us (and probably why he is such a great friend), he took what we sent him and made it even more us by personalizing it to stories he knows about us and added jokes he knew we would like. It was perfect.
6. Also! We asked some guests to contribute.
Because my bro is very important to me (he is my best friend! 🙂 ), I asked him to find something to read to us. And we just left a placeholder for him to stand at a certain time. He killed it… because he made me cry.
This is another great way to include your family or friends that are attending or that are not. What I mean is you can have a (or many) family member or friend write something for you to read during the ceremony (or before or after, of course).
7. Also, also! Other guests secretly contributed.
Lastly, behind our backs and in kahoots with Mark (our unofficial “officiant”), my crazy and wonderful Aunt figures out a place to include a song that everyone sang to use… She even got everyone to have it on their phones before the ceremony started. Hallelujah!
I hope this helps to give you some ideas on how to craft your personal and unique symbolic elopement ceremony script.
It takes time to make it just right, so don’t wait until the last minute. Believe me you won’t regret the extra time, plus if you finish it early that gives you time to forget the specifics before your day… making it feel that much more moving on your elopement day.
